And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
