you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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