after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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