So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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