I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
