I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Randomize
