I think I am morally bankrupt
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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