Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
