I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm getting married
To pizza
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
