next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
