At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize