he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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