all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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