Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
