I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
