had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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