i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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