Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
