We won't sleep together?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
