Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize