i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
