If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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