so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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