is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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