all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize