Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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