whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
