omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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