low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
