We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
