so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize