maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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