video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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