community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
