She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
