Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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