I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
