Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
