How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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