I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
