Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
