I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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