the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
