Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
