You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
