Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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