It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
