just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
