He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
