stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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