Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
