I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize