I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
