Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
