Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
