All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
