You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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