I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
