Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
