so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
