The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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